Hands Free Mama

December 2, 2013
In her first book, mommy blogger Stafford turns her experience of losing two years of enjoyment of her children’s lives to overbooking and perfectionism into a handbook of strategies to ignore “daily distractions and grasp moments of loving connection.” She blames the constant lure of the smartphone and laptop, combined with one’s inner drill sergeant, for the loss of precious moments, and recommends clearing the calendar for both loving rituals and spontaneous, mutual play. Saccharine stories about how much her children hug and kiss and say “I love you” when she focuses on them, and a privileged attitude that the world is made up of stay-at-home moms whose commitments are mostly optional, combine to passive-aggressively dare readers to make their children a priority. Though later chapters urge readers to let go of perfection, and although it’s certainly not the core lesson Stafford is trying to teach, her way of sharing her story makes her first guilt-laden message stick: you are throwing away the meaningful gifts and lessons you and your small children can give each other whenever you choose to focus on anything separate from them. Mothers for whom this lifestyle appeals may find affirmation here, but those struggling to balance childrearing and personal time better may feel judged. Agent: MacGregor Literary.