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Rescuing Julia Twice

A Mother's Tale of Russian Adoption and Overcoming Reactive Attachment Disorder

ebook
2 of 2 copies available
2 of 2 copies available
2015 IPPY Award Silver Medalist in the Parenting Category

In moving and refreshingly candid prose, Rescuing Julia Twice tells Traster's foreign-adoption story, from dealing with the bleak landscape and inscrutable adoption handlers in Siberia, to her feelings of inexperience and ambivalence at being a new mother in her early forties, to her grow­ing realization over months then years that something was "not quite right" with her daughter, Julia, who remained cold and emo­tionally detached. Why wouldn't she look her parents in the eye or accept their embraces? Why didn't she cry when she got hurt? Why didn't she make friends at school? Traster de­scribes how uncertainty turned to despair as she blamed herself and her mothering skills for her daughter's troublesome behavioral is­sues, until she came to understand that Julia suffered from reactive attachment disorder, a serious condition associated with infants and young children who have been neglect­ed, abused, or orphaned in infancy.

Hoping to help lift the veil of secrecy and shame that too often surrounds parents struggling with attachment issues, Traster describes how with work, commitment, and acceptance, she and her husband have been able to close the gulf between them and their daughter to form a loving bond, and concludes by providing practical advice, strategies, and resources for parents and caregivers.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      April 7, 2014
      Journalist Traster knew that “something wasn’t right” when she and her husband adopted a six-month-old baby from a Siberian orphanage in 2003. The baby didn’t meet her gaze or respond to her parents’ loving embraces, though as she grew, teachers described her as exuberant and engaging. Even so, Traster noticed the difference between Julia and other children. The author eventually discovered that her daughter suffered from Reactive Attachment Disorder, an affliction that affects a portion of children who are abused, neglected, or orphaned. The symptoms, she explains, vary—some children with the disorder are violent, though Julia is not—but all are characterized by an inability to connect. As Traster examines her feelings of failure and guilt (unaware, at first, of Julia’s diagnosis), she yearns to find a way into the heart of her enigmatic child, as well as to experience the joy of motherhood. In this moving memoir, Traster exposes the “dark underbelly” of the Russian adoption system and provides parents facing this disorder with valuable insight and information, as well as sharing her experience of learning what it truly means to be a mother. Agent: Linda Konner, Linda Konner Literary Agency.

    • Library Journal

      March 15, 2014

      International adoption is fraught with complications, which is no surprise to journalist Traster (New York Post; New York Times; Audubon; Family Circle) and husband Ricky, as they embark upon the journey to adopt a child from an orphanage in Siberia. At first things proceed almost too smoothly. The couple is approved to adopt a six-month-old girl, whereas infants are usually not available for adoption. Moreover, the process transpires at lightning speed. Once the new family returns to New York, the difficulties begin. Traster struggles to bond with daughter Julia, a child who manipulates in order to avoid closeness. Julia lacks normal affect and causes problems at preschool. After years of this troubled relationship, however, Traster happens upon information on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), a bonding disorder that is prevalent in children adopted from Russian orphanages. Once Traster identifies the issue, she and Ricky successfully employ effective therapeutic techniques in order to teach Julia to trust them. VERDICT Like Jessie Hogsett's helpful Detached, this title is indispensable for adoptive parents, relatives, and teachers.--Lynne Maxwell, West Virginia Univ. Coll. of Law Lib., Morgantown

      Copyright 2014 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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  • English

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