The Power of Strangers

May 17, 2021
Journalist Keohane debuts with a playful account of his “quest to master talking to strangers.” Enriching his own social experiments (including “the ultimate taboo of talking to people on mass transit”) with the findings of psychologists, sociologists, biologists, and theologians, Keohane unpacks the fear of rejection, notes the importance of eye contact, and details how social interaction promotes happiness. He also explores the origins and importance of hospitality, the treatment of strangers in Christianity and Islam, how smartphones and social media have “altered the character of public space,” and the modern phenomenon of “stranger danger.” Keohane lucidly explains the scientific and sociological research and shares practical advice on how to get past small talk (“just a door to a better conversation”), establish commonalities, listen closely, and bring a conversation to an end. Though charged topics such as prejudice and political polarization get raised, Keohane doesn’t fully acknowledge why members of historically marginalized groups might be less comfortable than a straight, white man with engaging a stranger on the subway. Still, his entertaining and well-informed musings will inspire readers to strike up more conversations. Agent: David Granger, Aevitas.

June 4, 2021

Journalist Keohane has talked to hundreds of strangers over the course of his career. These connections, whether fleeting or resulting in lifelong relationships, are the foundation of his first book. In three parts, the book asks, "What happens when we talk to strangers?" and "Why don't we talk to strangers?"; the book's final section, "How To Talk to Strangers," offers guidance (with actual suggestions for small talk). Keohane's book relies on his personal research, as well as methodical research in sociology, psychology, and other disciplines. He presents findings on how people approach strangers--from the "stranger danger" instilled in some young people, to physical, mental, or spiritual needs for connection--and the impact of external forces on strangerhood. Most helpful are the chapters about learning to talk to people from social groups other than our own, or people we disagree with. Throughout, the author shares dozens of stories of his own encounters with strangers. The book's tone is encouraging, and its timing is ideal as many of us emerge from the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic. VERDICT An eye-opening account blending sociology and self-help. After this enlightening and uplifting exploration, readers will undoubtedly view strangers in a different way.--Jennifer Clifton, Indiana State Lib., Indianapolis

Copyright 2021 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

June 1, 2021
Here's a familiar, pre-pandemic scenario: a cafe, full of people, but absolutely silent, with everyone absorbed in their cell phone or own thoughts. Why isn't anyone talking? This perceptive and rather chatty offering considers the sociological research behind why human beings are so averse to making connections with strangers, and why it's so important to do so. Journalist Keohane is a good storyteller and great proponent of engaging with the unknown, extolling the informational, emotional, and psychological benefits of talking to new people. He also acknowledges the biological, class, and self-preservation conditioning that hinders these interactions, let alone alienating factors like technology and the "stranger danger" reflex. Keohane is very fond of anecdotes, often humorous, always interesting, and has an engaging style that weaves in philosophy and history, diversity and cultural norms. Keohane also includes tips on how to start conversations, even with presumed enemies, and where (public libraries get a high rating). This authoritative, thoroughly entertaining read comes along just at the right time, and will help readers re-engage after their long quarantines.

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Starred review from June 15, 2021
After a year of quarantine and masks and years of severe political division, journalist Keohane shows us why it's vital for us to come together. "You cannot hope to be a good citizen," writes the author in his first book, "you cannot hope to be a moral person, if you do not first make an effort to see that the world is a very different place for the person sitting next to you. That their strangers are not necessarily your strangers. And the way to understand this, across social boundaries, or racial boundaries, or ideological boundaries, or any other boundary that has been thrown up to keep us apart, is to talk to them." Keohane seeks to teach readers how to have those conversations. Joining him on his adventures--e.g., cross-country train trips, seminars abroad--after a year in lockdown is a strange experience at first, but by the end, it makes the prospect of reentry even more exciting. Reading this book is like taking a college course that becomes a cult favorite because the witty, enthusiastic professor makes the topic seem not only entertaining, but essential. Keohane has some of the mannerisms of that popular professor--e.g., describing the process as "our journey"--and liberally dousing the data with asides and wisecracks. When he quotes Jane Goodall on grim similarities between marauding chimps and humans, a footnote reads, "Say what you will about us, but, in our defense, we do generally manage to refrain from eating one another's newborns." In an earthy retelling of the Old Testament, Keohane characterizes Jesus' origins in "motley, rowdy" Galilee with its "mix of Jews, Samaritans, Greeks and Syrians, living shoulder to shoulder": "Sort of like the Messiah coming from New Jersey." And why the Old Testament? Apparently, it has plenty to say about strangers, as do the members of a huge cast of memorable characters ranging from experts to homeless people all over the U.S. and Europe. Possibly life-changing ideas supported with extensive sociological research, lively storytelling, and contagious jollity.

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